Posted in General, Letters

Difference Doesn’t Matter

A Letter for Everyone in This World

Mainly for fellow Indonesians, but I write this in English so everyone else can read. Because we want peace in the world, not just in Indonesia.

I am a gamer. Although I’m not a pro, and game is no more than just a hobby.
Like many other gamers, I like chatting with the other players. Even in a one-country server, the players vary widely. And my beloved country, Indonesia, is full with heterogenous people.

I do care a lot about another people’s health, mostly because they don’t really care about themselves besides their own happiness. So it’s not rare for me to ask them or remind them to take care about simplest things.

Which was how my relationship with most players in that game started.

Through various socmeds, I managed to find some informations about them. At first I thought most of them are from Jakarta, mainly because it is the biggest city and because if there will be any event, most likely it will be held in Jakarta.

But no. Compared to those who are in outside Jakarta, players who domiciled in Jakarta are quite few. Indonesia is quite large, but since I don’t know about the facility and technologies out there, so this was quite unexpected.

The players are heterogenous just like how Indonesians are heterogenous too. Still, most of them are boys.  And like I’ve mentioned above, I talked with some of them, a nice and positive chat.

From my observation, gamers rarely mind the difference between age, gender, race, etc. They respect me too, and though they like to tease me sometimes, I know they were just joking and they still know their limits.

One time, I had a long conversation with a player from another city. From his real name, I can know that he is a Moslem, while I am a Catholic. One thing that made me happy is the fact that this difference means nothing. We talked casually to the point I forgot that he has different religion with me. He didn’t mention any conflict happened in November 4th in Jakarta, but I’m pretty sure it’s not because he didn’t know anything. He’s willing to share some of his experience and knowledge. He’s willing to talk with me, despite of his uneasiness because he thinks that the way he talks is a bit rigid, which is caused by his main language is Javanese.

That goes for the other players too. They treat each other plainly, ignoring differences. Even sometimes they’re willing to help me with my school assignments. Although they were just giving advices, but it means a lot to me. Respect? Yes, but that doesn’t mean the younger ones have to obey the older ones. There were no “*specific race* are not allowed”.

Actually it should be something normal, but this kind of solidarity feels so rare at this matter of time. Because in the reality, there are so much conflicts, even ones caused by small misunderstandings.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone can relate each other like this. No conflicts, help each other, smile together, etc. I wonder if it happened just because our personality fitted each other, and the result would be difference if I was a different person.

But I wish, someday, everyone can hold hand together.

Special thanks to RinScarlet

With regards,


Posted in Uncategorized

Being Independent

My ISTJ personality consists of 80% introvert,  which explains a bit why I don’t like working in groups. It’s not that I don’t like working with people, it’s just that I’m not compatible with most people. I may have a great leadership potential, but that doesn’t mean anything if it isn’t developed, right?

One of the biggest problem in my life is my poor self-esteem, which often leads me to all kinds of trouble. Reviewing my own self isn’t difficult, but being a better person is a different story. People told me to change, but how can I change when I don’t know what to change? I always try not to make any mistake. Still, it’s not rare for things to go awry and I don’t know what I did wrong.

Compared to the others, my abilities besides academics are completely average. I can play music instruments, but no more than that. I’m not an expert at anything besides mathematics and science. Even though I’m good at math, no one even bothers to ask me about lessons they don’t understand. I feel like I’m just being a last choice.

I have difficulty talking with people too. Maybe because I have different interests from them, but I tend to try to keep up the conservation as long as I can. Thus, it has become a habit until now, which I do unconsciously. Another one of my habit is speaking formally, almost to everyone.

My failure of talking with people is  the cause why I’m often seen being alone. I don’t feel lonely, in fact, though I’m happy when people start talking to me, instead that is what I call as being an independent self. I learnt how to stand out, or not to be afraid to do right things. When people get attached to their friends, I can work with many types of people or learn from them. Being independent doesn’t mean being selfish, but being flexible.