My ISTJ personality consists of 80% introvert, which explains a bit why I don’t like working in groups. It’s not that I don’t like working with people, it’s just that I’m not compatible with most people. I may have a great leadership potential, but that doesn’t mean anything if it isn’t developed, right?
One of the biggest problem in my life is my poor self-esteem, which often leads me to all kinds of trouble. Reviewing my own self isn’t difficult, but being a better person is a different story. People told me to change, but how can I change when I don’t know what to change? I always try not to make any mistake. Still, it’s not rare for things to go awry and I don’t know what I did wrong.
Compared to the others, my abilities besides academics are completely average. I can play music instruments, but no more than that. I’m not an expert at anything besides mathematics and science. Even though I’m good at math, no one even bothers to ask me about lessons they don’t understand. I feel like I’m just being a last choice.
I have difficulty talking with people too. Maybe because I have different interests from them, but I tend to try to keep up the conservation as long as I can. Thus, it has become a habit until now, which I do unconsciously. Another one of my habit is speaking formally, almost to everyone.
My failure of talking with people is the cause why I’m often seen being alone. I don’t feel lonely, in fact, though I’m happy when people start talking to me, instead that is what I call as being an independent self. I learnt how to stand out, or not to be afraid to do right things. When people get attached to their friends, I can work with many types of people or learn from them. Being independent doesn’t mean being selfish, but being flexible.
Dream Journal 